Meghan Markle breaks down in tears & says she told Harry she ‘didn’t want to be alive anymore’ and had suicidal thoughts

MEGHAN Markle broke down in tears as she revealed she told Prince Harry she “didn’t want to be alive anymore” and had suicidal thoughts in a shocking tell-all interview with Oprah Winfrey.

The Duchess of Sussex said she begged for help from the Firm after struggling with her mental health – saying it was her husband who “saved” her.

Meghan Markle said she had tried to reach out for help after struggling with her mental health but claimed she was told it would not reflect well on the Royal FamilyCredit: CBS

Meghan broke down in tears during her tell-all interview with Oprah WinfreyCredit: CBS
But in an explosive interview with Oprah aired on CBS overnight, the 39-year-old said she had been told she would not be able to seek help as it “wouldn’t be good for the institution.”

Breaking down in tears, pregnant Meghan said: “I just didn’t see a solution.

“I didn’t want to be alive anymore.”

And she said when she reached out for help with the Palace’s Human Resources team, she was told because she was not a paid employee, she could not be supported.

One night, while suffering suicidal thoughts, Meghan claimed that she forced herself to go to an event with Harry, 36, – because she felt she couldn’t be left alone, for fear of what she might do.

And she said while the lights were down during the Cirque du Soleil premiere at the Royal Albert Hall in January 2019, she was “weeping” while clutching Harry’s hand until his knuckles were white.

The Duchess of Sussex, who was six months pregnant at the time, said she would cry while the lights were down in the royal box before she would compose herself for the cameras and smile during the intervals.

Meghan revealed: “I was ashamed to say it at the time and ashamed to have to admit it to Harry because of how much loss he suffered.

“But I knew that if I didn’t say it I would do it – because I just didn’t want to be alive anymore.

“I didn’t want to be alive anymore. That was a very clear and real and frightening, constant thought.

“And I remember, I remember how he just cradled me.”

She later said Harry, 36, “saved” her by ultimately quitting the Royal Family.

In the candid chat, Meghan said: “I think he saved all of us.

“He ultimately called it – we’ve got to find a way for us, for Archie and you made a decision that certainly saved my life and saved all of us.

“You need to want to be saved.”

Meghan at the Royal Albert Hall event where she said she was putting on a brave face

Meghan said Prince Harry saved her by acting to get them out of the FirmCredit: Getty – Pool

Meghan said she was extremely fragile while at an event with HarryCredit: PA:Press Association

The 39-year-old said she had struggled with pregnant with ArchieCredit: CBS

Harry said he was shocked after a conversation about the skin colour of his sonCredit: AP:Associated Press

Meghan and Harry said they were happy raising their son in the US now after quitting the Royal FamilyCredit: PA:Press Association/PA Images
And Harry admitted he would not have quit the Firm without Meghan’s help saying: “I wouldn’t have been able to because I myself was trapped as well.”

Harry added: “I didn’t see a way out. I was trapped within the system, just like the rest of my family are.

“My father and my brother – they are trapped. They don’t get to leave and I have huge compassion for that.”

And he said he believed his mother Princess Diana would have been “angry” with how the situation panned out.

He said: “Ultimately, all she would ever want is for us to be happy.”

He said his family was now surviving on money that had been left by his mother, saying she might have “seen it coming”.

And Harry later added he also went to a “dark place” – revealing he would return home to Meghan crying as she breastfed Archie at their home.

Meghan also said she remembered one conversation about the pressures she was under with someone in the institution who told her “yes it’s terrible” – but that nothing had been done.

And she revealed that it was in fact one of Princess Diana’s friends that she reached out to, adding: “who else could understand what it’s actually like on the inside.”

MEG BOMBSHELL

It comes after Meghan revealed there were “concerns and conversations” about “how dark” her son Archie’s skin would be when he was born.

The Duchess of Sussex said there had been conversations with herself and Prince Harry about their unborn son and what colour his skin would be – and “what that would mean or look like”.

A stunned Winfrey asked “who is having that conversation?”

Meghan replied she would not reveal the identity, saying: “I think that would be very damaging to them”.

And the couple said they had been concerned their son would not receive security or protection as he had not been given a prince title.

Meghan explained said: “All the grandeur around this stuff is not really important to me.

“But in those months when I was pregnant, all around the same time: we have in tandem he won’t be given security, a title and also concerns and conversations about how dark his skin might be when he’s born.”

Asked whether there were concerns that her child would be “too brown” and that would be a problem, Meghan said: “If that is the assumption you are making, that is a pretty safe one.”