Kelly Clarkson opens up about why she left ‘The Voice’ and moved to NYC

Clarkson wanted to head east to find her smile again.

Kelly Clarkson may have helped make “The Voice” a fan favorite, but she needed to step away from the show to take care of herself.

Clarkson, who moved her talk show to New York City beginning with this year’s fifth season, said in a recent interview with USA Today that she was enduring a lot of hardship in her personal life, which leaked into her career, including her daytime talker and the singing competition.

“Full disclosure, I put on a smile a lot of those times because I was struggling a lot in my personal life,” she told the outlet. “I’ve learned a lot about what I’m capable of handling, and also what you should not handle. That was me saying ‘bye’ to ‘The Voice’ and having this big move. I love that family, but I was like, ‘I’m struggling. I can’t smile anymore. I don’t feel like smiling.’

“What’s cool for me with Season 5 is I am in such a great place, not only with my kids, but with me personally and with the show,” continued Clarkson. “I feel like a weight has lifted. That move was very needed. I think the thing I’m most excited about with Season 5, on a selfish level, is just showing up to work smiling and actually meaning it. That’s a beautiful gift that you don’t realize until you’re out of it.”

Kelly Clarkson on “The Voice.”

Kelly Clarkson may have been smiling here on “The Voice,” but she often felt like she was masking her true feelings.Trae Patton / NBC via Getty Images
Clarkson, who served as a coach on “The Voice” for Seasons 14 through 21 and returned for Season 23, is coming off a high-profile divorce from ex-husband Brandon Blackstock. She knew she was taking a gamble by uprooting her show and life in Los Angeles.

“I’ll be real honest: I thought I was making a horrible decision,” she said. “I knew I needed a fresh start and couldn’t be in L.A. I really wanted to be in Montana, but you can’t really do a show from there quite yet. So I was like, ‘The only other option would probably be New York.’”

She has settled in well in the Big Apple, making sure everything was right for her and her kids, River, 9, and Remington, 7, whom she shares with Blackstock.

“At this point, I’m 40 years old. Mama rented something nice!” she joked. “I was like, ‘I’m not living here unless it’s right by the park and really nice for the kids.’”

Kelly Clarkson, Blake Shelton, Niall Horan, and Chance the Rapper on the 23rd season of “The Voice.”Trae Patton / NBC via Getty Images

“I genuinely love it, and I love that my kids love it,” she said of living in New York City.

Clarkson has talked about wanting a “fresh start” and a desire to leave Los Angeles, as well as the importance of family, when making the move to New York City.

“I’ve never really liked living in L.A.,” she told TODAY in June. “L.A. is beautiful, lots of things to offer that are awesome. It’s just never been my thing in 20 years, and so I never wanted to live there in the first place.”

“It also was pointed out, especially getting divorced, it was just me and my kids all the way on that coast,” she added. “All of my family lives on this coast. It just got lonely.”