Meghan Markle’s Sad Desperation Hits New Low as Beyoncé’s Mom Becomes Her “Star Guest”

At this point, it’s beyond satire. Meghan Markle’s latest podcast stunt—touting Tina Knowles, mother of Beyoncé, as a “major guest” for her limp audio series—is being called everything from tragic to desperate. And judging by the groans echoing through social media and even the loyal halls of Montecito, it’s becoming clearer than ever: Meghan’s star isn’t just fading—it’s crashing.

What began as an ambitious podcast project aimed at “amplifying female voices” has now devolved into a vanity project drenched in delusion. Her show, Archetypes, flopped. Her relaunch as The Tig 2.0 sputtered. Her Spotify deal dissolved under accusations of laziness and grifting. And now, her podcast reboot—touted last week with the kind of breathless drama usually reserved for a royal coronation—has one message for the world: Tina Knowles is all I could get.

Where Are the Real Stars, Meghan?

There were rumors. There were hopes. There was even wild speculation about Beyoncé herself being the surprise guest—after all, the two had once exchanged semi-formal text messages, awkwardly revealed in Meghan’s Netflix docuseries. But instead of the Queen B, listeners got Queen Mom.

Tina Knowles, while respected in certain circles for her work in fashion and as Beyoncé’s mother, is not the kind of “relaunch guest” expected from a woman who sees herself as a presidential hopeful, a cultural leader, and a Hollywood elite. For someone who supposedly had Oprah, Serena, and Michelle Obama on speed dial, it’s telling that she now has to dial in parents of celebrities.

Worse, the big reveal was teased with faux Southern charm and a chameleon-like attempt at a Texan accent. “When a matriarch calls, you answer,” Meghan said, trying to channel gravitas and sass. What the world heard was hollow theater.

Dolly Said No. Gwyneth Said No. Everyone Else Is Running.

According to royal commentator Kinsey Schofield, Dolly Parton recently declined an appearance on Meghan’s podcast—despite being pursued “openly” by Meghan’s team. And why not? The Meghan brand is increasingly radioactive. You don’t get invited to the Met Gala of media when your own staff call you “dehumanizing” and your neighbors label you “superior and unfriendly.”

From Taylor Swift to Megan Thee Stallion to Martha Stewart—none of the women Meghan likely hoped to snag have shown any interest. Even Chrissy Teigen, once called out for online bullying, is now one of her few remaining allies. That says everything.

An Image So Controlled, It’s Collapsing Under Its Own Weight

Meghan’s media presence is no longer authentic—it’s manufactured, manicured, and molded into oblivion. A recent garden photo she posted, meant to portray domestic bliss and earth goddess vibes, was immediately torn apart online.

Why? Because the vegetables shown—corn, squash, and broccoli—don’t grow together. Some aren’t even in season. There was no dirt on them, no reality in the image. It was another staged fantasy. Like everything else, it was too polished, too fake—and people noticed.

Her Montecito neighbors noticed too. Longtime columnist Richard Mineards revealed that while Oprah shows up at local events and connects with the community, Meghan keeps her gates—and her image—locked tight. She reportedly refused to accept a local documentary DVD from an elderly neighbor. A small gesture. A big message.

The Meghan Monologue Never Ends

Listeners hoped Meghan’s first podcast was a brief flirtation with audio narcissism. But no—she’s back. And she still can’t stop talking about herself. “Me, me, me,” says Angela Levin, royal biographer and longtime critic. “She can’t leave the front row.”

Even when she brings on guests, the interviews circle back to Meghan’s trauma, Meghan’s struggle, Meghan’s misunderstood genius. And when someone else tells a story—like the founder of Spanx talking about her supportive father—Meghan visibly shuts down. She swiftly pivoted the conversation to mothers, avoiding any reflection on her own estranged dad, Thomas Markle.

The Markle Method: Speak Sweet, Scream Later

Multiple staffers have spoken out in recent weeks, with the Sussex Survivors Club growing louder and braver. Former employees describe a dual personality: kind and glowing when Harry was present, cold and aggressive when he wasn’t.

“She shape-shifts,” one insider said. “She mirrors people. She becomes who she thinks she needs to be in the moment. It’s exhausting for everyone around her.”

And when she can’t control the narrative? She posts. She poses. She pretends.

Camilla’s Hat Isn’t a Tribute—It’s a Coincidence

In a brief but bizarre media twist, some outlets suggested Queen Camilla’s recycled dress from Harry and Meghan’s wedding might be a subtle olive branch. Angela Levin quickly shut that down.

“Utter nonsense,” she said. “Camilla doesn’t play those games. Neither does Kate. They’re not sending secret messages through fashion.”

So What’s Next?

A Netflix flop. An empty garden. A podcast with no buzz. And now, Beyoncé’s mom.

This isn’t the rise of a global brand. It’s the slow, painful self-destruction of one. Meghan Markle entered the Hollywood elite with a crown, a prince, and the world at her feet. Now she clings to a microphone, spinning tales, faking harvests, and chasing guests who keep saying no.

There’s a reason Beyoncé didn’t show up.

There’s a reason Dolly Parton said no.

There’s a reason Montecito’s residents roll their eyes.

And unless something changes, the only audience left for Meghan’s podcast might be the one she fears most: