Peter Kay speaks about painful surgery as part of his new book which is out today

Peter Kay has revealed he had emergency surgery on a giant kidney stone and a stent needed to be fitted after it caused “major trauma” to his urethra.

Writing in his new book Peter Kay’s Diary, his March entry documented a troubling and painful time for him several years ago, but in typical comical fashion.

Comedian Kay, 52, said he was wearing a covid mask on a train from London Euston to Wigan when he felt severe stomach pains and had to rush to use the toilet. Two days later he had throbbing pains in his lower back and googled his symptoms, which suggested a kidney stone so went to get medical attention.

Kay writes: “Fast forward 24 hours, and my suspicions were confirmed via a CT scan at the local hospital. It turned out I had a big stone block in the exit of my right kidney.

“He(urologist) reassured me, but said I needed emergency surgery to remove the kidney stone, which would also involve having a stent fitted at my urethra in order to maintain my kidney functions. F**k a duck.

“My pre op bloods confirmed his suspicions that, apparently, my kidney functions were deranged. Well, that’s how the nurse delicately put it. As much as I was shocked, I was also relieved and felt vindicated, as I actually had something wrong with me, and it wasn’t just hypochondria.

“However, kidney stone pain is legendary, and I was starting to sob and make the occasional high pitched whining sound, like when you fire an air rifle at a dog’s testicles.”

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The cover of Peter’s hilarious new book(Image: Peter Kay)

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Peter had to drop out of his huge tour(Image: Getty Images)

Worse was to come for Peter though, when he was told the operation would involve a small camera fitted with a laser entering his body to “blast” the kidney stone away.

The doctor told him there would be no need for any cuts or incisions as the camera would be going in another way.

Kay added: “Then the penny dropped with a huge realisation. Oh, my God, he means he’s going in through the hole at the end of my penis. My world collapsed. Red lights flashed in my head. He can’t go up there? It’s out of bounds, private land. Area 51. A camera won’t fit up there, let alone one carrying a laser. Was this guy on glue?”

Sadly for comedian Kay the doctor was serious and that is how the operation took place, but not before his anesthetist had also asked for a selfie shortly before putting him to sleep.

The stone was removed and Kay was left in serious pain for a week when he used the toilet, until he had to return to remove the stent via the same way the camera had gone into his body.

Kay added: “The urologist said I didn’t need any pain relief. He said it’d be a walk in the park, though I don’t know which parks he walks through.

“The urologist advised me to breathe deeply, in and out, then grabbed my penis like he was grabbing a snake and squeezed it, which caused my eyes to bulge like a cartoon.”

The urologist then advised him to slow his breathing although Kay says he was lucky he didn’t get headhunted by this point, such was the pain. A small hook was then used to remove the stent and Kay “howled” in pain.

He added: “It was painful and unpleasant and a dreadful experience I never wish to repeat. Ever!”

According to the NHS, Kidney stones can develop in 1 or both kidneys and most often affect people aged 30 to 60. They’re quite common, with more than 1 in 10 people affected.

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Fans are loving having Peter back in the spotlight(Image: PA Archive/PA Images)

Kidney stones are usually found in the kidneys or in the ureter, the tube that connects the kidneys to your bladder. They can be extremely painful, and can lead to kidney infections or the kidney not working properly if left untreated.

Symptoms include pain in the side of your tummy (abdomen) or severe pain that comes and goes like Kay felt on the train.

In the “cheery” September chapter of the book, the Phoenix Nights creator also recalls his honeymoon disaster, as he and wife Susan were married just a few days before 9/11 and were in Mexico when the disaster unfolded.

Kay thought it was a movie when he first saw it on TV before the realisation hit and the holiday resort took on an eerie state.

Kay writes: “The whole resort was flung into grief, as you’d expect. We really wanted to go back home, but thousands of planes were grounded. It was an unprecedented move to thwart any further attacks from hijacked planes.

“The feeling was eerie. All joy evaporated. All music stopped. It was a surreal juxtaposition; we were in such idyllic surroundings while all this tragedy was happening. We tried to continue with normal holiday activities, but we felt guilty.”

Kay said the world changed for years afterwards and when children came into their lives he tried to shield his young kids from 9/11 and would change TV channels if a programme came on mentioning it as there was no real explanation for what happened.

He added: “Sometimes the world can be a horrible place, and it ruined our honeymoon. We got back home six days later than scheduled. We were so grateful to get a flight back. We’d been waiting in a packed airport in Cancun for seven hours.

“I’ll never forget the passengers clapped and cheered when we landed in Manchester. Such a relief to be back on terra firma, though no one would feel safe for a long time to come. F**king Al-Qaeda.