According to the blazing hot gossip echoing through the halls of Buckingham Palace, our departed Queen Liz made an unprecedented move by omitting a certain prodigal grandson from her multi-billion-dollar estate plans altogether.

Now, take a guess who’s been left out in the cold? Yes, none other than Prince Harry himself, not a single penny for the prince. Go ahead, grab your lavender sachet because this latest twist in the never-ending saga of the royal family is about to shock you to your core.

Sources close to the newly solidified King Charles Dynasty are whispering that our departed queen delivered a parting shot by explicitly excluding Harry from any share of her fabulous inherited fortune. Not a brass farthing, not a single trinket. Her message to her renegade grandson was crystal clear, a final, cutting rebuke that leaves no room for interpretation.

Can we blame the old bird? After enduring endless humiliations and stress caused by Harry and Meghan during her final days, who can blame her for wanting to preserve what remained of the family’s dignity? Picture the scene: as her time in this mortal realm drew to a close, our steadfast queen summoned a trembling estate lawyer to her bedside. With steely resolve, she made her wishes known, ensuring that her wealth would go to her remaining loyalists, while her rebellious grandson would receive nothing but a metaphorical slap in the face.

And really, could we expect anything less? Harry and Meghan, with their relentless public antics and self-imposed exile, had already severed ties with centuries of royal tradition. Did they truly expect a substantial inheritance to fund their new life of commercial ventures and celebrity hobnobbing?