In the week that Kelsey Parker shared the tragic loss of her son Phoenix, Lauren Goodger has spoken of her own loss and shared that the pain of losing a child ‘never leaves you’.

Lauren admitted to struggling since the death of her daughter Lorena in July(Image: SOPA Images/LightRocket via Getty Images)

After Kelsey Parker heartbreakingly shared the loss of her third child last week, Lauren Goodger has shared her own journey with grief since tragically losing her own daughter Lorena, just minutes after giving birth in July 2022.

Kelsey, 35, already a mum to Aurelia, five, and Bodhi, four, whom she shares with late husband Tom Parker, was set to welcome newborn son Phoenix last week with her new partner Will Lindsay, but shared the devastating news on social media that her little one was ‘born sleeping’.

And looking back on her own experience with such a tragic loss Lauren, 38, admits to Mirror that, sadly, it is a pain that never leaves – but is one you gradually learn to live with, as she sits down for an exclusive interview.

“Nothing can make it better and I don’t think anything can change the loss, the pain never leaves you,” says Lauren, whose daughter Lorena was born with the umbilical cord knotted and around her neck and passed shortly after labour, despite a ‘textbook’ pregnancy.

Lauren also suffered heartbreak in 2022 when she lost daughter Lorena minutes after birth(Image: OK! Magazine / Chelsea White)

“Lorena was a beautiful baby, there was no complications with me or her and it never should have happened. She should be with us now,” says Lauren. Though she admits you never stop grieving, the TOWIE star says it’s important to remember not to blame yourself, something she found herself doing, after losing Lorena.

“You go back and think, ‘Should I have been in hospital rather than a home birth? Should I have done this, or done that? But I had a home birth the year before and it was absolutely fine, so there was nothing that could have been done. I think when anyone loses anyone, we think about what we should have done. As a parent, you just keep going over it.

“You think, ‘Why me? What have I done wrong?’ But in time you heal, and that’s the positive part. You never get over it but you do learn to live with it.”

Lauren is a mum to three-year-old Larose, who she said ‘kept her going’ amid the loss(Image: @laurengoodger/INSTAGRAM)

Admitting that the loss not only impacts parents as singulars, but it can also ‘break’ a relationship, Lauren says: “Losing a child can give a massive strain on the relationship – it can make or break you. It can break families but I really do hope that they stick together and get through it because they’re going to need each other.

“That’s one bit of advice I’d give to anyone, stick together and you’ll get through it together,” continues Lauren.

Lorena wasn’t Lauren’s first child – the star already sharing Larose, who turns four next month, with Charles Drury. And she says it’s being a mum that got her through the grief of losing a child, admitting that she threw all of her focus into Larose.

“Everyone deals with such a shocking loss differently – but the only way I got through those first terrible weeks was focusing on Larose, there was nothing else I did. Some people shut down and can’t keep going but for me I had to. You can’t just freeze because you still have to be a parent for your kids. In a way, it keeps you going.”

She adds: “Larose is the reason I got through the first weeks and months, I threw myself into being the best mum I could be for her. I had double love for her and was the best mum in the world. Larose and Lorena were 11 months apart so I was still breastfeeding, she wasn’t even one yet, so I was still so busy being a mum to a baby at home,” she recalls.

Opening up on how she has broached her sister’s death to Larose, she adds, “When she was young, I’d talk about Lorena. But now she’s getting older, I don’t talk about Lorena to her because I don’t want her to go through the grief I’ve been through when she’s too young to understand. I don’t want her to be in any pain.”

Phoenix was Kelsey’s first child with new boyfriend Will Lindsay(Image: Phil Harris)

Lauren continues that nothing can ever prepare you for returning home from the hospital without a baby in your arms. “We had everything ready and Larose’s pram ready to be used for Lorena, so Charles’ family hid all of that for me coming home from the hospital, so I didn’t have to see it or deal with it straight away.”

While admitting she’s still ‘scarred’ from the loss, Lauren says she is finally in a place where she is reintegrating into work and life, explaining there’s no ‘right time’.

“It’s only in the last year that I’ve started to do things again and get back into work, I couldn’t before that. I was just depressed if I wasn’t being a mum, I had very strong boundaries which were part of my healing process. But now, I’m back on TOWIE which was a huge step for me, and I’ve had so much support from ITV.

“I’ve also been abroad to Portugal, before there was no way I could have gone on holiday when I’d lost my daughter. But it’s taken me three years to get to this point, there’s no timeline for healing.”

She adds, “I’m still scared of my own shadow sometimes and I still have anxiety, but that comes with the trauma. It’s a process.”

Now, Lauren is even thinking about expanding her family again, something she couldn’t have dreamed of in her darkest days, after losing Lorena. “I would love to have a baby now. I don’t know when but I do really want another child.”