From the outside,  Ravenseat Farm still looks like the picture of rural resilience — a windswept outpost high in the Yorkshire Dales where laughter, livestock and family life somehow coexist in glorious chaos.

Family games

But behind the familiar smiles of Our Yorkshire Farm, Amanda Owen has been living a very different story.

Now, for the first time, the Yorkshire Shepherdess is revealing just how close she came to losing everything — including her life — in the devastating aftermath of her split from husband Clive.

“I Just Shut Down”

Christmas is approaching, and once again Amanda, 51, and Clive, 70, will gather at Ravenseat with their nine children. They no longer share a home, but they still share the land, the work, and the unbreakable responsibility of raising a large family together.

On screen, their new series Our Farm Next Door presents a picture of pragmatic cooperation. Off screen, the journey to this uneasy peace was brutal.

In the darkest months following their 2022 separation, Amanda suffered a severe eating disorder — part of what she now describes as a “cataclysmic collapse.”

“I just shut down,” she says quietly.
“Anxiety, depression, paranoia, agoraphobia — and an eating disorder — all merged into one.”

At her lowest point, the family feared she might not survive.

A Breakdown in Full View of the World

The collapse came after a brief relationship with web designer Rob Davies, which ended when relentless media scrutiny became overwhelming. At the same time, online trolls began targeting Amanda’s appearance as her weight dropped alarmingly.

“I was called a bag of bones,” she says. “I still get trolled now.”

Her teenage daughter Edith quietly deletes the worst of it before Amanda ever sees it.

There were nights Amanda hid alone in sheep pens in the dark — overwhelmed, frightened, and exhausted.

“It’s like having a post-mortem before you’re dead,” she says.

“The Scariest Time”

Clive remembers those months vividly.

“There were nights I genuinely feared I wouldn’t see her the next morning,” he admits.

On one Valentine’s night, Amanda collapsed after vomiting blood. On other occasions, she blacked out while gathering sheep and had to be rescued.

“I always had issues with food,” Amanda explains. “But after nine pregnancies, stress amplifies everything. I lost control.”

Medical intervention, hospital visits, and finally accepting help slowly pulled her back.

“I’m out of the woods now,” she says. “But it nearly took me.”

Life After the Marriage

Today, Amanda lives in a nearby cottage while Clive remains at Ravenseat. The children — aged nine to 24 — move freely between homes. There are no handovers, no rigid schedules, no artificial normality.

“Space saved us,” Amanda admits.
“The tension is gone. Living apart was actually a blessing.”

They still bicker constantly — over toilet rolls, Fairy Liquid, and household chaos — but beneath the banter lies something sturdier.

“We’ll always have each other’s backs,” Clive says.

Strong Women, Strong Children

Their nine children remain the centre of everything.

Reuben runs his own machinery business. Raven is an academic specialist. Edith balances farm life with part-time work. The younger children pitch in with animals, cooking and chores — not out of obligation, but instinct.

“The children witnessed everything,” Amanda says.
“It taught them resilience.”

A Different Kind of Happy Ending

Amanda is not dating. Clive is — and she jokes she even buys his girlfriend’s Christmas presents for him.

But for Amanda, happiness now looks quieter.

“I’ve turned a corner,” she says. “I almost feel better armed having survived it.”

This Christmas, there will be chaos as usual. A turkey bought last-minute at auction. Not enough chairs. Children feeding animals before opening presents. Someone sitting on a milk churn.

And Amanda — still fragile, still healing — but very much alive.

“We’re not perfect,” she smiles.
“But we’re here. And that’s everything.”