If you struggle to sleep at night wondering if it’s true Janet Street-Porter had a fling with Lily Allen’s dad, good news – the Loose Women panelist has finally spilled the tea about what happened

Janet Street-Porter has finally set the record straight on what went down on her snooker table when Keith Allen and his “mushroom” popped round to hers after a wild night out.

For those not familiar with the intimate details of Lily Allen’s dad’s sex life, it’s long been thought that the Vindaloo hitmaker, 70, bedded journalist Janet, 77, back in the day – mainly thanks to Keith bragging about his alleged encounter with the Loose Women star in his 2007 memoir.

“I wish I had the skill to describe in detail the first time I made love to Janet Street-Porter,” Keith wrote in his autobiography, which is titled Grow Up. “Once on a snooker table and once in her bed in her home in Clerkenwell. The earth moved for me – and for Janet too.” Promoting his book at the 2007 Hay Festival, Keith joked that the “earth moved” due to Janet sleeping on a “hospital bed on wheels”.

Lily Allen’s dad Keith claimed he had sex with Janet Street-Porter in his 2007 memoir ( 
Image:
WireImage)

The Loose Women star has now revealed what actually happened ( 
Image:
S Meddle/ITV/REX/Shutterstock)
However, Janet has a very different recollection of her night with Keith – denying she ever got down and dirty with the actor on her snooker table. Almost 20 years on from the release of Keith’s memoir, Janet recalled how he broke it to her that she was getting a mention in the tell-all book.

“I ran into him in Soho one day and he said: ‘There is a story coming out tomorrow. It’s a serialisation of my life, and I hope you don’t mind, but I put in that I slept with you on your snooker table’,” Janet explained. “I replied, ‘But that’s not true Keith’, and he continued, ‘But it looks great.’ It’s not true, and the reasons I did not have sex with Keith Allen is that firstly, snooker tables are a certain height from the ground, and Keith Allen is a very short man.”

The ITV broadcaster cheekily added to Woman’s Own magazine: “It is true that he came round to my house after a night at the Groucho Club, stripped off all his clothes and ran around my snooker room like a demented housefly, and tried to get excitable, and I thought, I’ve seen bigger mushrooms for my starter.”

So there we have it, Keith said he potted Janet on her snooker table and 17 years later, Janet revealed that the dad-of-six had been fibbing for almost two decades. Despite Keith not striking it lucky on Janet’s snooker table, the billiards table in Janet’s home did see some action before she sold it to the Groucho Club.

Speaking on Loose Women in 2017, Janet went into graphic detail about a sex injury she once sustained after getting frisky on a waterbed. Janet didn’t stop there, going on to confess that she’d also got friction burns from misusing a piece of furniture. “I once got burns from some action on my snooker table,” she added. “I was worried about marking the baize.”