Cancer has a visible effect on the body of those of us battling it
Cancer, and the ongoing treatment to keep me alive, has completely ravaged my body. My bowel is riddled with scar tissue, chemotherapy has caused osteoporosis in my spine, and my liver has been close to failing several times.
And every time I walk down the street or get on a bus I worry that people are judging me for how I look.
Since starting chemotherapy last summer I’ve put on at least two stone in weight due to steroids, my face has acquired a very unsexy pinkish red rash, my hair has many shades of grey and is a lot thinner than it’s ever been before, and I have a massive hernia that surgeons might not be able to operate on.
So when I saw the post by outspoken Good Morning Britain commentator Narinder Kaur about Kate, Princess of Wales, on Remembrance Sunday, when she wrote on X: “Genuine question – why has Kate aged so much? Isn’t she only 42? Is she a smoker? It’s the only explanation,” you can see why I was absolutely furious.
I’m on cycle 30 of my chemotherapy and, as a “lifer” in the cancer day unit I’ve witnessed as both men and women come to terms with how the disease has changed how they look.
None of us have had to do this under the spotlight that the Princess of Wales has had to endure. And, quite frankly, none of us look as good as she does after her treatment for cancer.
Princess Kate was questioned over her apparent ageing
As she stood on the balcony overlooking the Cenotaph Princess Kate looked solemn and she looked cold. That’s it.
I don’t know what version of events Narinder Kaur was watching but I think everyone in my day unit would agree that what Ms Kaur said was despicable.
As her harsh words began to unravel she tried to justify herself by saying she was just asking about ageing.
I’m a child of the 1980s and was always taught it was rude to ask a woman her age. So genuine question, as she would say, why did Ms Kaur think that it was acceptable to post about ageing?
Instead of trying to justify herself by saying that her brother didn’t age during his cancer battle, why didn’t she appreciate that everyone with the disease is different?
Just because her brother looked a certain way, it doesn’t mean that everyone with cancer will look like that.
I’d love to look the way that I did before cancer (I’d especially like to be as thin as I was when I was 15) but I don’t have that luxury.
Instead, I’ve tried to come to terms with my disease-ravaged body, so when people like Ms Kaur question Princess Kate’s appearance it makes it more difficult for cancer sufferers like me to accept the way I am.
So here’s some advice for Narinder Kaur: Next time you have a “genuine question” about the way someone looks, just ask someone close to you instead of using it as a way to generate clicks and engagement on your social media accounts.
Fighting cancer is a tough enough battle both mentally and physically without being in the public eye, so it’s best to think before doing your best to be outspoken.
Princess of Wales recording her message announcing her cancer diagnosis
Express Reporter Robert Fisk during cancer treatment