The family and friends of Australian-born Bianca Censori, the wife of Kanye West, are said to be concerned for her wellbeing. From the photographs and stories I have seen online, I can’t say I blame them.
Censori, 29, an architect with a masters degree from Melbourne University, and West, 46, the rapper ex-husband of reality star Kim Kardashian, married in secret in December 2022 and have been causing controversy ever since.
Censori has been seen in increasingly risqué and compromising situations, from appearing to perform a sex act on her husband in Venice to wearing ever-more revealing clothes.
In addition, West has posted disturbing images of her on his Instagram page for his 20million followers to view. They include shots of his wife in fetish gear, performing domestic chores, all uploaded to a chorus of criticism.
Censori has no social media accounts of her own — apparently banned by her husband, who says it is for her own protection.
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Bianca Censori and Kanye West married in secret in December 2022 and have been causing controversy ever since… there are reports that he dictates what she wears, eats and when she can speak
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Censori has been seen in increasingly risqué outfits, including this X-rated look in Paris recently when she wore no underwear with sheer stockings and top
There are further reports that West dictates what his wife wears, what she can eat and when she can speak.
Of course, what we see is just a snapshot of a marriage, and, for his part, West has said he just wants to show off his beautiful wife.
Yet former girlfriend, Julia Fox, 34, who dated West for a month in 2022, made some serious allegations in her memoir, Down The Drain, about someone she refers to only as ‘the artist’.
She revealed that ‘the artist’ attempted to control what she wore by sending her a wardrobe of clothes he had pre-approved. He also tried to persuade her to have breast implants.
When it comes to Censori, photographs of her before she met West show a happy, smiling young woman partying with her friends in Melbourne, wearing cocktail dresses, shorts and T-shirts.
By contrast, the photographs of her taken last month during Paris Fashion Week wearing a fur stole and sheer tights, with what seems to be no underwear beneath (a choice that could well see her face charges for indecent exposure) seem alarming.
Even though Censori insists she is comfortable in her own body, it’s clear to her family and friends that something has changed.
Over the years, I have had a number of patients who have been in coercive and controlling relationships — a form of psychological abuse whereby the perpetrator carries out a pattern of manipulative behaviours within a relationship.
What is shocking for those on the outside is how the victim is often unaware that it is even happening.
I’ve sat in front of people (mostly women, but men can be the victims of coercive control, too), and told them I’m worried they are being controlled, and they have shaken their head in utter denial.
One woman wasn’t allowed to see her family, have her own bank account and had to keep a tracker on her phone so her husband knew where she was at all times. She didn’t see this as disgraceful, chilling behaviour.
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Censori has no social media accounts of her own – apparently banned by her husband, who claims it is for her own protection
READ MORE: Revealed: The REAL reason Kanye West ‘forces’ Bianca Censori to wear X-rated outfits in a ‘travelling freak show’ (and ex Kim won’t be impressed)
He had convinced her it was because he cared about her so much and wanted to know she was always safe.
The manipulator is often very clever in how they gain control — it happens gently at first and in small, subtle ways. They might suggest a partner isn’t very good with their finances, or is being ripped off in some way, and it would be better if they took sole control of the money.
Perhaps, after an argument with their family, the controller will encourage someone to cut off contact, saying their family don’t deserve them.
It’s usually couched in terms of wanting to help the other person be happier. Bit by bit, the victim’s sense of self is destroyed, their confidence eroded.
Sometimes it can happen so gradually that the person doesn’t realise — until, one day, they wake up and realise they hardly know themselves any more.
As they will often be deliberately distanced from friends and loved ones, opening their eyes to what’s really happening is all the more challenging.
But people can and do escape these kinds of toxic relationships, and the first step is always recognising the signs they might be being manipulated. Women’s Aid highlights ten key red flags to watch out for:
Isolating you from friends and family;
Depriving you of basic needs, such as food;
Monitoring your time;
Taking control over aspects of your everyday life, such as where you can go, who you can see, what you can wear and when you can sleep;
Monitoring you via online communication tools or spyware;
Depriving you of access to support services, such as medical services;
Repeatedly putting you down, saying you’re worthless;
Humiliating, degrading or dehumanising you;
Controlling your finances;
Making threats or intimidating you.
This is by no means an exhaustive list. But if any of these ring a bell for the relationship you’re in, then it might indicate coercive control, a recognised form of domestic abuse. It is a crime and the law is on your side.
For more information, visit womensaid.org.uk or call the National Domestic Abuse helpline on 0808 2000 247.
Lawyer Paul Alexander, who died last week, spent more than 70 years confined to an iron lung after he contracted polio as a boy. His remarkable story puts most of us, with our everyday gripes and complaints, to shame.
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Paul Alexander died last week after spending more than 70 years confined to an iron lung after he contracted polio as a boy
Meghan’s vindictive timing Maybe it was just a coincidence that the Duchess of Sussex launched her new lifestyle brand just 45 minutes before Prince William gave an emotional speech at the 25th Diana Legacy Awards?
Perhaps it was yet another coincidence when, a few hours later, Meghan and Harry announced the winner of Archewell’s $100,000 civil rights awards. But I suspect they don’t do much by accident.
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The Duchess of Sussex launched her new lifestyle brand just 45 minutes before Prince William gave an emotional speech at the 25th Diana Legacy Awards
In which case, it seems cruel to try to steal the limelight from Prince William in this way, especially when it was a celebration of his mother’s legacy.
It comes across as petty and bitter. I’d hoped the brothers would find some way to reconcile. But there can be no hope of healing while one side behaves like this.
For all the Sussexes’ talk of how ’empathy and compassion are the building blocks of a better world’, it’s just hot air. It’s not compassionate to try to upstage a family member, especially at a sensitive time. It’s mean and vindictive.
